I Just Dropped My Blogroll

Folks, I just dropped my blogroll! Not a good news really. But I have to do it. Why? It just lead me to some spurious-looking third party site. I'm referring to blogrolling(dot)com.

I don't know what happened to it. But I am not comfortable with it anymore. So, there I just deleted it, along with the links to many of my online friends' blogs. If your link from here is gone, don't be sad. Also, don't throw your flame of fury at me. I'm gonna rebuild my blogroll anyway. Be kind to leave a comment as I had forgotten most of your sites' URL.

What's next? This site needs a lot of repair. And if you have trouble posting a comment, just click on the single post (post title). There is link at the bottom that says "Post a comment". I don't know why it is no longer in my front page. Probably this theme could be blamed for that.

This blog has really strayed farther away, traffic-wise, and in whatever blog statistics available. But I'm keeping this one nevertheless. I have my best posts archived in here.

Purging The Blogroll

I hate to do this but I have to purge the blogroll of Leftover Thoughts.

So, how do I begin to tell the story of how love ends with the links? First I’ll check the sites I linked to and see if they linked back to me. Unless they are superstars (my definition), or write like my favorite authors, without my link in their site, their links from this blog are the first to go. Sorry folks!

Some of those in my blogroll have not updated their blogs for more than half a year. I am not even sure what happened to them. Are they still on this planet? But I do hope and pray that they’re alright and not watching from the stars above. Those without updates for the last six months are the next to go. If they transferred sites, they should have at least left a message telling their fans that they packed up and migrated somewhere. A quarter could be tolerable but half year is too long. There are few sites that I'll exempt here.

The purging will start today and ends Wednesday. There will be rooms for new links then.

Flowers for Emma

What is it about flowers that can melt a woman’s heart? Is it really the flowers or the romantic idea?

She didn’t answer his long distance calls for days now. While he, somewhere in KSA, didn’t have any idea why she acted that way. The quarrels were often petty but this one, especially the long days without proper communication, worried him. She kept her ground and just hid in her room most of the time.

But one day, a delivery man came knocking on her doors. "Flowers for Emma" he called out, bringing a bouquet of roses and fresh flowers. She was surprised as she read the note, “Missing you so badly. I love you!” She couldn’t believe it. This is the first time in their 3 years that he sent her flowers. Tears flowed down from her eyes and she carried the bouquet in her arms. “How beautiful these flowers are. I didn’t know he’s so romantic” she loudly said. Then her phone rang. She hurried to her room, answered the phone and they talked for hours.

My wife and I just smiled at these two young friends of ours. Ah, sweet love!

Christmas Gift: Awards

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Kind bloggers gave me awards. I really felt unworthy with all of these. Julai first bestowed me the Egel Nest Award. The award was first given out by Bradley Egel for the blogs he felt deserving of his brand of Blog Excellence Award.

Then Ivy gave me the “Sweet Treat Award”. I’m totally dumbfounded. It took me months before I recovered from such kindness. Thank you, thank you very much!

Now I’m bestowing these awards to the following (of my personal choice):

The problogging masters: Carey, Javi and Sasha. Their blogs also served as my resource when I crossed over.

The literary masters: Rey for poetry, and Ayen for flash fiction. I just love how these guys put magic into words. By the way, Ayen’s story is included in a book. Go check out his site.

The photography masters: Ferdz and Abaniko. Awesome, amazing, exhilarating, indescribable, great! I ran out of adjectives to describe their photos.

The happy bloggers: Verns, Gypsy, Francesca and Tin-tin. Their positive outlook in life is contagious.

There you go my blogger friends. I'm sure plenty of you already received awards, as these have been in the net for sometime now. May we all enjoy the holidays and may the love of God be with us all!

Thankful Tag

It’s pretty unusual to receive a tag from the Fencesitter. But it’s something that he created for himself then shared it to his blogfriends. Here it goes: List 10 things that you are thankful for.

2007 is somewhat a roller coaster kind of a year for me. I may not have really shown it in my posts but it really is not an easy year. But I thank God for the following:

1. My Wife. Honestly, I have not shown this blog to her until recently. She asked why (which you may also ask). I really did not have a definite or a convincing answer. But I showed her my posts about the flowers she arranged and how my readers appreciated them. I also showed her my attempts at problogging and the possibility of earning dollars. Thank God I got her support on this one. And of course, for her love.

2. Problogging. I’m still tiptoeing when it comes to this thing, though I have a PR4. I only have very few sponsored posts so far, and I’m not dreaming of thousand bucks per month. (Ten thousands, actually. ha ha) At least, this is a diversion now that my interest in badminton is waning.

3. New laptop. Though company-owned, I can use this thing everywhere I go. The wifi access makes it possible for me to connect to the net in many places here in the Vis-Min area.

4. Company benefits. I got a raise! Though not necessarily the motivation, at least I have something. Plus, they replaced my 10-yr old service vehicle to a new one. It’s a more comfortable ride now.

5. A new hang-out near our place. Free wifi, affordable restaurants, not-so-crowded coffee shops, 24-hr Mcdo, these are just some of the things that makes the place great.

6. Safe trips. I have plenty of trips this year. Maybe more next year. But I thank God for his protection.

7. New badminton playmates. They meet TTHS, but I only join them on Saturdays. At least they welcome me, and I can just play the games I want without the excess baggage.

8. The internet. It’s very useful. Blogging, banking, buying things, finding infos, etc…I’m even planning of setting up an online flower shop in the near future.

9. Friends. They are very important to me. In my ups and downs, real friends extended their hands and hearts.

10. Fencesitter and Fencesitter. Perhaps this is the nth time I mentioned that he’s my mentor in blogging. Thank you mate! See you again next week in Manila.

So there goes my ten. There are no rules as to the number of people to tag. So I’m tagging 10: Vince, Zherwin, Mitch, Tin-tin, Daisy, Janeser, Francesca, Ghee, Tin and Aryo.

Blog Visits

I wasn’t able to visit the sites of my blog friends last week. Meetings here and there, and even my mind can’t wander to some place else. We have internet in the office, but it’s difficult to take a peek even at my own site. The big boss is seated right beside me.

We have internet at the hotel. But it costs P240/hr for a wifi. Why is it that they don’t have free internet in Manila? In most hotels in the Visayas and Mindanao, hotels offer free wifi connection. I’d better spend that 240 on something else.

I was off the internet world the whole weekend, having slept most of the time on my birthday. I just wake up to eat, and reply to text greetings.

Yesterday would have been a great time to bloghop. But the tropical depression scared the hell out of us. We were released from the office an hour early. But I stayed on for a while browsing until they shut down the back-up generator.

Today, I have 122 unread items listed in my google reader. These are mostly from the blogs in my links. Plus, there’s my blogroll with markings of those who have updated their blogs. Now, where do I start reading?

If I Were in His Place

At the surface, he seems to be on his jolly self, as usual. Like an elder brother, he pats us on the back and tells us to balance work and our personal lives. We just nod in agreement and listen. But when he starts to lift a bottle of San Mig Light and tastes its flavor, the tone of his voice changes.

He confides that he is bothered by talks about his having this and that because his wife’s family’s wealth. He rejected his father-in-law’s offer of a larger house, larger vehicle, and even a possible business. He chooses to be away from his family because he clings to his job in the city while his wife is in the province handling the family business. It is as if he wants to prove that he can feed his family on his own.

“If you were in my place, what would you do to silence the rumor mongers?”

My other friend was silent though we both know our similar answers. So I volunteered. “I’ll tell them that it’s a blessing. And that I was only after for their daughter’s love, but there was a bonus instead. It’s not everyday that you can have those things.”

He laughed. My other friend nodded with a smile. But in the end, I guess he just needed us to affirm on his stand regarding the matter. I will not say that it’s pride, though he justifies it as part of his principles. Principles, pride, whatever... A change in perspective may solve the problem, while at the same time keeping his so-called principles.

Missing the Crowd

Where are the people who used to occupy the 2 to 4 courts that play from 7pm till midnight every Thursday and Sunday evenings?

Last night, there were only four of us meeting for the regular game. There were less shouting, less competition, but we nevertheless got the same quantity of sweat that we needed. It was like this when we started almost 4 years ago: when there were 4 or 6 people showing up for every game. It was a time when we don’t have to be choosy of our playmates and we just laughed and laughed, and had fun. Then we grew to be over a couple of dozens, had the same fun, but experienced lows as well. We really missed some people who became our friends.

We miss “The Bearded Man”. His passion for the game is incomparable until he shifted his focus on his lenses, something which he is excellent at. His exit somewhat surprised many, but the rift was settled weeks later.

We miss “Darna” and his favorite yells, “Rackets up!” and “Dagan!” Heart problems (enlarge heart and some heartaches) made him slow down a bit.

We miss the “Dancing Duo”. They literally dance when they play. Though their footworks and grips may look awkward for the game, theirs is a very solid partnership. They’re now with another group but we still keep in touch.

We miss the “Smashing Shadow”. When we play, I don’t want to be on the opposite side. His strong drives and smashes scare me. Many were hit on their foreheads. I almost got my glasses smashed. He now struts his stuff in Taiwan.

We miss the “Sweet Couple”. They sometimes (I mean many times) argue on the court. But when one appears to be upset, the other usually initiates the hugging and the kissing. Play resumes, win or loss. The husband is currently busy battling the Abu Sayyaf in Basilan.

We miss the IT guys. Some had already relocated to Singapore. We heard they continued playing in some converted courts.

But in one way or another, we can still connect with them through emails, celphone, and the internet. We just didn’t use these medium. We just stared at the empty courts and replayed in our minds the fun we used to have when we gathered and crowded the place.

Friendster Friends

I opened a friendster account a year ago, two years after I received my first invite. I succumbed to the pressures of my younger siblings, ex-colleagues, and classmates. Perhaps to them, I was lagging behind in internet social networking.

It was in December last year that I started reconnecting. I spent more than an hour browsing my own account, blogged, uploaded pics, and then hopped to my friends’, then to their friends. I noticed many familiar names and faces, people I met and came to know a long time ago. I was amazed at how young people at Church have 300 or more online friends. I asked them if they knew them all and read them all. They replied, “friends, friends lang gud”. Perhaps, it just meant that all that matter is the number of people connected to you and not really the quality of that link.

So I kept on browsing and visited their homepages. I knew I would be leaving a trail when they open their “who’s viewing me page”. So be it! If one day they’ll add me as a friend, it’s fine with me. But I’d be choosy in returning the favor.

Then I also found myself looking at all my sisters’ sites, and then at some cousins’ sites too. I added some as friends, and sent messages to some. Some posted their wedding pics. Others uploaded their baby's pic. A teenage cousin bravely (shamelessly) posted some pics with kissing scenes with his girlfriend. What could his mother say about the pics? The harsh scenario is that, he’d be thrown out from the house. These kids really!

Friendster is one of those sites blocked in our company network. I can only view my account when I’m in an internet café or in some wi-fi zones. I seldom visit my friends’ sites. I don’t read their blogs and bulletins either. They’re not visiting mine, too. I no longer made blog entries and bulletins. Nobody reads them anyway. My friendster friends and I were back with our own separate lives again after the initial encounter. But it feels good that we’ve somehow reconnected. At least in friendster.

By the way, a lola (aunt of my mom) of mine is in friendster too. And we're friends. Tsk tsk tsk.

Five Bloggers

This is a long overdue post. I drafted this one more than two months ago, right after Tin-tin tagged me. I traced the original from Carey. She even mentioned me in this post. Daghan kayong salamat, Tin-tin and Carey!

The rules:
1. Choose five blogs randomly from your blogroll. - I chose five but not at random. I would just like to include the two bloggers here whom I know personally. One knows who I am, while the other, I’ll tell him once we bump into each other one of these days.
2. For each blog, choose at least one entry (you could add more) which is your favorite post by this blogger.
3. Include a link to this post and explain why you like it.
4. The chosen five bloggers are considered tagged and they will also have to do the same in their blogs. I know that some have been tagged before. There is no need for you to do this.

Now here’s my list:
1. Fencesitter - This guy loves to blog. In fact, I consider him as my mentor in blogging. His latest blog, which he says is his mistress, is here. The wife, because of some unresolved java issues, is left here.
Try reading his tales here and here. (Sorry for giving you too much attention mate. But I wish to see you featured in some prestigious dailies one of these days.)

2. Gypsy – She frequently travels. The first time I bumped into her blog, she was in Davao. Then she went to Manila, Thailand, and now, UK. She once wrote this entry about korean novelas. After watching “Love Story in Harvard”, I never watched a koreanovela again. Addictive.

3. Bystander– He’s a young lawyer who vows to uphold his oath. But there is one entry that quite created a stir in his generally peaceful site.

4. Francesca – You would love reading her pang-maalala-mo-kaya stories. She talks about her not-so-happy first marriage, her new found love, her family and her experiences in Monaco and France. Her every post is full of wit and sincerity.

5. Ferdz - He is an award-winning blogger. His every post is amazing. I just can imagine myself travelling to the places he features. Here are some pictures of god-knows-where paradise islands. (Capones and Sabtang).

Whew! This tag has been in my draft for the longest time. At last, I finished it now.

Old Friends

“Make new friends, and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold”
- lyrics from a song

When I read the blog of Freeze, she mentioned friends whom she kept in touch since her 1st grade. She also felt the pain her friends are undergoing right now. And at the end of her post, she wrote, “…friends live within the heart”.

I really admired their long-running friendship. I, too, wondered where my friends are. I remember the names of Loloy, Nonoy, Rodin, Larry, Lemuel, Dennis, all from my elementary school days.

Loloy is a godson of my Lola. Nonoy is a neighbor’s son. Both acted as my older brothers when I studied grade 1 in Misamis Occidental. I was 5 then and they were 10. I don’t really know their real names, but I remember how they taught me climb guava trees and ride a carabao.

The last time I heard, Loloy went to work in Malaysia via the back door. Nonoy got married and settled in another province in Mindanao.

Dennis is a neighbor during my elementary years. He’s my first friend when we were just new in the neighborhood. We’re of the same grade level but he studied in a different school. I always felt that he belittled my school. But I understand at that time that kids like to brag. He’s also the first kid whom I had a fistfight. He’s bigger than any other kid his age, and he bullied me that time. I threw the first punch straight to his stomach. He grimaced in pain and cried. I cried too. For three days we avoided each other. My dad talked to me about it, and asked me to do the first step in the reconciliation. I did, and we became closer after that. When we transferred residence, I also failed to get in touch with him. I later learned that he got married and transferred to another city in the Metro.

Rodin, Larry and Lemuel were my bestfriends in elementary school. Rodin died of pneumonia when we were in our second year high school. I was already at UP while they remained at the newly opened national high school in our baranggay. They told me about his death but I kept postponing my visit until I forgot about it that day when he was to be buried. Their house was only 500 meters from ours.

Larry, they told me, had a nervous breakdown in high school. He recovered though but his family transferred to another baranggay. I haven’t seen him for almost 2 decades now.

The last time Lemuel and I got in touch was around 6 years ago. We promised to meet up during his child’s christening but I backed out at the last minute due to another forgotten commitment that day. That was the last time I heard of him.

I pondered and asked myself, “Am I not good at reaching out to my friends? Why didn’t they seek me out too?”. I can answer the first question, but the latter is no longer mine. I still have time to reach out now, like the way I connect to my college friends. Perhaps they appeared at a time when I don’t care much about others. But I do now.

Bold as a Bear

You just can’t forget some people whom you think are extra ordinary. Even though it happened a long time ago, I am still amazed at how this guy picked himself up after initially stumbling at school, and went on to excel in his field.

We were high school freshmen then at UP. During the first week of class, a teacher got fancy in the way she wanted us to introduce ourselves. “Introduce yourselves using your name as an acronym” she said. “Be creative as possible.”

And so we contemplated hard on how to adorn ourselves with a unique and creative acronym. When the teacher asked for volunteers, the lanky, pale skinned, brown haired boy raised his hand, and then stood up without any hesitation. “I am B. I am bold as bear.” The girls giggled. The boys laughed. The teacher was amused.

B was bold indeed. When the time for us to elect our class President came, B presented himself. The others took a dagger look at him. But he just smiled. And there was no one else who challenged him.

But his fame at our school was short lived. Many times a classmate and I went to his house to check on how he was doing. It was only a few meters walk from school. We just wanted to tell him of the coming exams because he was absent for many days. He said that he’s sick and had a nightly asthma attack.

At the end of the school year, the removals could have saved him. I am one of the few who believed in the guy. I’ve known him getting high grades even without studying. Many times he appeared only on exam day, and cram on a classmate’s notes. But he failed to show up on the last and final exam schedule.

He was kicked out of UP and returned as freshman in his former school. I never heard of him again until four years after I saw his name and picture in the newspaper as one of the top ten outstanding high school graduates in the province. Wow! Then another five years, he graduated Magna Cum Laude in engineering. He also placed 3rd in the board exam.

How’s that for a kid kicked out at UP? I did try googling his name a few months ago and found it listed as a fellow in a prestigious UP writing workshop. His name also appeared in some science journal.

Way to go, man! You really are bold as a bear.

Lovers and Friends

“Friendship is love without its wings.” - Byron

We heard stories of friends becoming lovers, and lovers turning “just friends”. We also heard stories of broken circles of friends because one started courting another from the group. Some were even labeled as opportunist, someone taking advantage of the friendship. And there are happy stories with happy endings. But there are also sad tales of relationships gone awry.

A college friend, Sonny, is very friendly and popular. He had many female friends. He was courting a few of them secretly and some openly but ended up rejected every time. We heard the ladies say “We’re better off as friends”. He simply shrugged off his failed conquest. “Yeah, they’re better off as friends”, we agreed.

John and Mila became close friends as they were seatmates in many subjects at school. He had a girlfriend back in his province, while she also had a boyfriend somewhere else. Classmates would tease them. They simply said that they’re “just friends and probably soulmates”. A couple of years after, he broke off with his girl back in the province and started courting his friend. It was not difficult for her to say no. But then, it did not end happily. She dumped him (we found out years later) after she found out he impregnated a girl from their place.

An inspired look can be seen on Rey’s eyes. He was often found conversing with a female friend in the library. She looked happy, too. Classmates would often tease them, but both would just let out a smile. “In the right time” they both say. But he was hesitant and afraid of rejection, and the possibility of losing the sweetness of their conversation as friends. There never was a chance again after they separated ways after college.

--- * ---

My wife and I knew each other since we were elementary kids. We’re friends. We have many friends in common. I was considered as a little bit aloof in the circle during our youth. Sometimes, I just come in and out of the group. But there was a time when we got a chance to know each other again. She was a graduating nursing student at that time, and I was working in an auditing firm. A second look, as I simply put it.

I heard her say in the past that she’d turn down any friend that will court her. I even discouraged one friend, because he’d been turned down many times already. I just didn’t know then, that one day, it would be me courting her.

“Do you believe in the saying that ‘friendship is love without its wings’?” was my starting line. And so the conversation revolved around that for many minutes.

At the back of my mind, I said “I am staking our friendship here for something of a higher aim. The end should be nothing short of love, and not just for ordinary friendship”. Such determination overcame my fear.

“Why don’t we add wings to our friendship?” I finally asked.