How Can I Leave Cebu?

How can I leave Cebu? As I've said before, I'm not good at moving, and specially if I leave behind people close to my heart.

The first day of September would have been the appointed day. But I had some doubts as to the intent of this move. I too doubted my own intent, having formed so many alternative plans in my mind. This is a challenge ahead of me, I kept repeating that to myself. And I really wanted to believe that.

So I had my annual medical checkup middle of August There was a not so good news from the doctor, and I was given some prescription medicines. At 32, I should not have these cholesterol and uric acid levels. I emailed my bosses citing medical problems and buying some more time to delay my transfer. There were also other matters, both work and personal, to attend to.

They said it's fine, and were not in a hurry too. Ok, I felt relieved, but as the day nears, I really don't feel comfortable anymore.

The first time I left Cebu for a period longer than 6 months was when I was 5. I spent my first grade in a remote baranggay in Mindanao. I remembered how I missed my parents and my sisters. I cried almost every night on the first few weeks. I really wanted to quit school and return to Cebu. My wish was not granted. I stayed on and finished the first grade before moving back to Cebu.

At this time, I know that I should be ready and that Cebu is just a temporary dwelling. If I want to become a global citizen I should look beyond my hometown, and consider relocation as a normal event of existence. When asked by my friends and colleagues about my impeding transfer, I just smiled and said, "I'll be there in due time.".

A long time friend and mentor of mine said these words that pierced deep into me. "Whereever you will be, just continue to let your light shine and be a blessing to others."

NBI Hit Part 3

The other day, my wife and I went to NBI region 7 to have our clearance for international travel. We were turned down coz they ran out of official receipts that day. Whatta! We were told to return Wednesday.

With the help of a close friend, we skipped the long queue this afternoon. My wife got her NBI clearance but mine was still pending. I'm hit again. They said that it will take three weeks to get my clearance. The last time, it was only one week. Does it mean that their efficiency has depreciated?

If you ask me why the "hit", it has nothing to do with my own record. I have a very unique first and last names but my middle name, FLORES, is very common. My uncle was once imprisoned because he has the same name as their town's most wanted person. He was released the next day because of the mistaken identity. Oh well, we didn't choose our names in the first place. I'm gonna return to their office in two weeks.

Arrange Beautiful Flowers For Me

I wonder why my wife suddenly woke me up at 3 this morning. She said she heard someone talking and wanted me to check it out. So I walked down the stairs still groggy and checked the locks and the garage. Everything seems normal, so I went back to bed.

At 5am she woke me up again. So I went down again and checked outside our gate. There had been times when our neighbors got burglarized. It all happened at dawn. Even my in-laws were not spared. But my efforts were fruitless. Had there been actual burglary, I wouldn't know what to do. I had no weapon with me.

So I went back to sleep again and woke up at around 8am. I hurried to work, kissed my wife goodbye, as she was still sound asleep.

I was my own self at my cubicle as usual, did my routines and what they called work. Then at around 10am my wife sent me a text message saying that auntie died. My wife is very close to her as she was the one who financed my wife's schooling. She's like her second mother. My wife could not hold her tears. I rushed to the hospital at lunch time and there saw auntie's smiling lifeless face, about to be brought to the morgue.

Then my wife turned to me with very red eyes. "You know what" she sobbed. "I dreamt of auntie that time I woke you up this morning. Beautiful flowers were all around us when I clearly heard her saying 'please arrange beautiful flowers for me'."

At this time of posting, my wife is arranging beautiful flowers for auntie's wake.

When I Am Sleepy

Just like a few minutes ago, my officemate saw me closing my eyes in front of the PC. I am very very sleepy. I better pack my things now and head home. Perhaps I'd just sleep in the sofa like I did on Valentine's Day when I was dead tired from lack of sleep due to the flower orders and deliveries.

When I sleep, I don't hear anything, nor feel anything. I can skip meal and good movies. Even alarm clocks have little or no effect on me. Once (when I was on my teens) our house was almost flooded because of a strong typhoon, I just curled and rolled the buri mat on me. It was only when my uncle kicked me that I got up. I'm afraid that I won't even get up if a burglar comes to our house at dawn.

Oh well, I have no sleeping difficulties. I can sleep while riding a jeepney or maybe even with loud disco music. I can sleep in meetings, too. But I can't sleep while driving, or waiting for a flight or playing PC games. That, I don't know why.

Almost Towed

It was past midnight when we went to the downtown market to purchase flowers. I parked my car just in front of a “No Stopping” sign. My wife and my niece stepped out and I just waited for them inside the car.

A BMW car was parked on the opposite side of the road. Another parked behind mine. They were also purchasing flowers that evening. I was very tired after having played badminton that I napped inside the car. Then I suddenly remembered that I was not sleeping in our bed. I woke up just in time for the City Traffic Officers to arrive with two tow trucks. I switched on the engine and slowly moved my car. I just made some turns and returned to that same street.

They towed the BMW and the car parked behind me. The owners could not believe what they saw. They arrived too late. I know the penalty for that is very high.

When my wife hopped inside the car she mockingly said, “Good thing you were not asleep”.

“I was, but I woke up just in time. I wonder why they have an operation at this hour. It’s past midnight.”

“God probably woke you up. We don’t have money to pay for the penalty.”

“I agree. God is good!” Then we head for home.

The Burning Desire To Win

If you remembered my entry last year about two kids fighting, and one even scheming to bomb the house, this time around, they’re still the protagonists in my post.

I was just amazed at the competitiveness of both. In a party game, “paint me a picture” to be specific, the two kids were on the opposing sides. Everytime the older (7) one’s team scores a point, he’d taunt the younger cousin (5). When the little boy’s team scores he’d make faces at his older cousin.

At the end of the game, the younger boy’s team lost. The older one jumped with joy and laughed so hard. This drew the ire of the little boy, and somewhat frustrated, he ran towards his mom and cried so hard. “I want to win! I want to win!” he wailed.

I also heard from my wife that in another party, the little boy was eliminated in a newspaper dance. His mom asked him to step aside but he yelled back, “No!”.

Watching the kids made me look back at my childhood years. I never had the competitiveness that they have. I don’t cry if I lose, which is not very often. I downplay my every victory, as usual. I also wonder what these kids will become when they grow up.

When A Family Loses The Breadwinner

The wife of a neighbor and family friend of ours woke up one day scared. Perhaps it was the news she received the day before that they lost another close friend due to stress and fatigued. She was very much worried about the way her husband works. He teaches at a local university at day, and does some sidelines as building contractor on his spare time. He is a workaholic. With his efforts, the family income quadrupled, and they could now afford things they couldn’t normally buy before.

She, though equipped with a business degree from a reputable school, is a stay-at-home-wife and a mom of three teenage boys. She worried that if her husband would die, she couldn’t take the challenge of having to raise them herself. So she thought about family life insurance. She asked friends on how to get the best rates and how to reduce premiums. At age 45, the premiums are higher compared to when you get insured at 20. He doesn’t smoke, nor have any vices. At least, by staying healthy, one can save money on insurance premium.

Her dilemma is common among families with only one breadwinner. What if the head of the families dies? Funerals are not cheap. Who will support those who are left? A few hundred thousand bucks can be drained in less than a year. This is where a life insurance is very important. Advantage term life, sells all types of life insurance. You can check their website to get a quote today.

And what happened to my neighbor? She forced her husband to buy insurance. She felt she can now sleep soundly with it.

Christmas: Truce or Reconciliation

The government and the rebel forces declared a Christmas truce. How nice isn’t it? No bloody war for at least a week.

In our community, or even circles (families, friends, colleagues) some feuding parties (personalities) may have declared truce silently by just tolerating each other’s presence in parties and Christmas events. But meeting eye to eye is no-no. You know how it is after the season is over, everyone else will be back in their war rooms and put on in their battlegears. Conflicts are not resolved by mere ceasefires. And we can’t just be contented with temporary peace.

But someone up there gave us a peace that lasts; lasting reconciliation not just any truce. God sent His own son, Jesus Christ so that we can be reconciled to Him (2 Cor 5:19). Even if we don’t know it, we rebelled against God by committing sins. And we deserve a penalty. (Romans 6:23) But it is by his mercy and love that He offered his gift of eternal life to anyone who believes in His son Jesus Christ (John 3:16).

May you my dear friends enjoy the true reconciliation this season; first to God, then to those people around you. God bless!

Thankful Tag

It’s pretty unusual to receive a tag from the Fencesitter. But it’s something that he created for himself then shared it to his blogfriends. Here it goes: List 10 things that you are thankful for.

2007 is somewhat a roller coaster kind of a year for me. I may not have really shown it in my posts but it really is not an easy year. But I thank God for the following:

1. My Wife. Honestly, I have not shown this blog to her until recently. She asked why (which you may also ask). I really did not have a definite or a convincing answer. But I showed her my posts about the flowers she arranged and how my readers appreciated them. I also showed her my attempts at problogging and the possibility of earning dollars. Thank God I got her support on this one. And of course, for her love.

2. Problogging. I’m still tiptoeing when it comes to this thing, though I have a PR4. I only have very few sponsored posts so far, and I’m not dreaming of thousand bucks per month. (Ten thousands, actually. ha ha) At least, this is a diversion now that my interest in badminton is waning.

3. New laptop. Though company-owned, I can use this thing everywhere I go. The wifi access makes it possible for me to connect to the net in many places here in the Vis-Min area.

4. Company benefits. I got a raise! Though not necessarily the motivation, at least I have something. Plus, they replaced my 10-yr old service vehicle to a new one. It’s a more comfortable ride now.

5. A new hang-out near our place. Free wifi, affordable restaurants, not-so-crowded coffee shops, 24-hr Mcdo, these are just some of the things that makes the place great.

6. Safe trips. I have plenty of trips this year. Maybe more next year. But I thank God for his protection.

7. New badminton playmates. They meet TTHS, but I only join them on Saturdays. At least they welcome me, and I can just play the games I want without the excess baggage.

8. The internet. It’s very useful. Blogging, banking, buying things, finding infos, etc…I’m even planning of setting up an online flower shop in the near future.

9. Friends. They are very important to me. In my ups and downs, real friends extended their hands and hearts.

10. Fencesitter and Fencesitter. Perhaps this is the nth time I mentioned that he’s my mentor in blogging. Thank you mate! See you again next week in Manila.

So there goes my ten. There are no rules as to the number of people to tag. So I’m tagging 10: Vince, Zherwin, Mitch, Tin-tin, Daisy, Janeser, Francesca, Ghee, Tin and Aryo.

The Honest Driver

As I was enjoying a cup of coffee and free wifi, one of the coffe shop attendants arrived riding a taxi. I did not really take notice of her until a couple of minutes later when she panicked realizing that she left her phone on the cab.

“Consider it gone. What can you expect of people these days?” said one of her coworkers.

“Give him a ring. Offer him money just to return your phone.” suggested another.

She dialed her own cellphone number and was glad it was ringing. But no one picked it up at the other end. Then she sent a text message begging anyone who happens to find her phone to return it at the coffee shop.

“You’d be fortunate if he returns the phone.” said the guy who made the pessimistic comment earlier. “You’d better look for a new phone.”

“I bought that phone only a week ago, and I’ve reloaded it just this afternoon” said the hapless girl. “I’m sure he’ll return it.”

Then a cab parked in front of the shop. The driver stepped down with the phone in his hand. The girl jumped with joy. From a distance I saw her hand in something to the cabbie, which he initially refused. She forced it though and the driver accepted it with a smile.

When she went inside the coffee shop, she was ecstatic. But then, she worried if the P100 she gave to the driver was enough a reward. She narrated how the driver heard the phone ringing but did not answer it because he didn’t know how to operate the thing. He happened to be nearby without a passenger so he did not hesitate in making a u-turn to return the phone.

I am a witness to the event. There certainly are honest people in our country today. And we just have to continue in believing despite the fact that we’re somewhere on top of the list of most corrupt nations. Thank God for honest Filipinos!

What's Your PR?

PageRank (PR) is a measurement used by Google to determine the importance of a particular webpage. There are many blogs out there with suggestions on how to improve one’s PR. Evoart mentions 10 ways to guarantee google rankings. But does it really matter?

I first read about PR in Daisy’s site sometime early this year. I was wondering how mine fared in the rankings. So I tried Google’s PR checker. I got a rank of 2 then. I was tempted to compare it with the other sites in my blogroll. Except for a few and the more popular, we all have more-or-less similar PRs: 1-3.

Then in July, I made this post. It was because I was so excited to see my site on top of the others (even the dotcom) when I googled “leftover thoughts”. My PR rank had risen to 3, and blog authority at technorati was at 56.

But just late last month, I saw my PR at 4. This raised my eyebrow a little bit. Why? How? My technorati authority dipped to around 40 already. Except for some memes I did, I was not even promoting my site through bloghopping. I just noticed though, in my sitemeter, that plenty stumbled upon my site because of google search.

So, what’s the use of my PR 4? For now, nothing. It is just some ego-boosting thing, like a trophy, when you don’t have ads plastered in your site. PR is only necessary when you have paid posts and ads, or when you need traffic to feed your pocket. And I might make something useful out from my PR soon.

Flowers on the Grave

I remember a text message passed around years ago about visiting the grave of the departed loved ones. It says something that it’s better that we visit the dead rather than they pay us a visit. Scary, huh?

I am not really used to visiting the grave of dead loved ones, because I believe that what remain in the grave are the bones and ashes. I’d like to remember them in my thoughts in some place else, but not in the cemetery. But my wife’s aunt invited us (I mean all her relatives) to visit her husband’s grave on November 1. Good thing the memorial park is new and not so crowded yet. My wife arranged the flowers in the baskets. And we noticed we’re the only ones having red flowers.

U2 and Worship

"U2 Rocks the House (of God)

Bono inspires worship with an edge.by Elizabeth Diffin

Where the Streets Have No Name. Beautiful Day. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. Yahweh. For fans of the Irish band U2, these are familiar rock songs. But to a growing number of Christians, they're becoming tunes for worship, and for the Eucharist. " read full article here.

I am U2 fan but I really don't know what has gotten into their heads. Call me traditional, conservative or whatever. I am happy with the traditional way.

But hey, God loves variety too, doesn't He? As long as they really worship God and not U2, that may be acceptable.

How Do You Ask For Help?

Normally I don’t. Or as long as the pain is bearable, I keep it to myself. Despite the number of times I rehearse my plea for help, I’m never really good at it.

If someone asks for help, I’d readily extend a helping hand. If he won’t, I’ll watch from the sides, but ready anytime. But there was once a time when my offer for help was rejected and misinterpreted as interference. So I just waited, watching him till he turned pale with worry.

I don’t overreact. Sometimes, others complained of my delayed reaction. This is calmness, I asserted. That may be slow for them

I may preempt, but only in thought. I hate being preempted, like they know how to read my mind. Or I am just avoiding the truth, and they think they know the truth.

How grave a sin is pride?

If I Were in His Place

At the surface, he seems to be on his jolly self, as usual. Like an elder brother, he pats us on the back and tells us to balance work and our personal lives. We just nod in agreement and listen. But when he starts to lift a bottle of San Mig Light and tastes its flavor, the tone of his voice changes.

He confides that he is bothered by talks about his having this and that because his wife’s family’s wealth. He rejected his father-in-law’s offer of a larger house, larger vehicle, and even a possible business. He chooses to be away from his family because he clings to his job in the city while his wife is in the province handling the family business. It is as if he wants to prove that he can feed his family on his own.

“If you were in my place, what would you do to silence the rumor mongers?”

My other friend was silent though we both know our similar answers. So I volunteered. “I’ll tell them that it’s a blessing. And that I was only after for their daughter’s love, but there was a bonus instead. It’s not everyday that you can have those things.”

He laughed. My other friend nodded with a smile. But in the end, I guess he just needed us to affirm on his stand regarding the matter. I will not say that it’s pride, though he justifies it as part of his principles. Principles, pride, whatever... A change in perspective may solve the problem, while at the same time keeping his so-called principles.

Afterlife

I was chatting with an ex-colleague (ex-classmate and kumare) whom I knew grew up in a mainstream protestant church, but was in a religious vacuum since college. We were talking about the death of another colleague’s husband who succumbed to a liver ailment at age 39.

‘People should not die that young. It should be on their 70’s” she said.

“Like we know when our time will come”, was my unanswered reply.

- - - - * - - - -

Another friend of mine insists that there is no afterlife. We die and return to dust. He was quite proud about his unbelief, and was even insulting at some point because I believe in God and the Bible. No, I did not ask God to strike him down. I just prayed that his eyes be opened.

I’d rather believe in what Jesus said about heaven and the future residence of the saved rather than what our politicians offer. Nothingness is not even an option.

Nothing

I wanted to post something since Monday. Bloggers talked of writing block, or whatever they call it. It must be something of a crisis inside the blogger’s mind. Like we want to write about this, put it off for another, but came up with nothing instead. I do have draft entries in my hard drive, and all I have to do is some refining to post them here. But I did not do that.

I did bloghop. Read and left with and without trails. I missed some of the sites I used to visit. I just found out that some were on hiatus. Some were celebrating blogging milestones. Some were giving out awards. Some wrote of happiness, some of sadness and loneliness. There were news of a blogger’s death, and how young she was to leave this world.

For this week, I could have written about my travels, and how I experienced a three hour flight delay twice this week. Or about my work and my stressed-out friend. It could also be about badminton, about the book I just finished, about love, or about anything under the sun. But I wrote nothing.

Restrain

“Sometimes, I wish I’m irrational. Flaring up before anyone can react. Then blame it on some mood changes and bad temper. Patience can sometimes put one on a disadvantage. And there are moments when I like to lose my patience. Damn the consequences. Sensitivity can be the least of my concerns. One blow will settle everything. But how can I be that cruel? Maybe it’s because of some heartless soul pushing me to the limits.”

The above was what I felt a few days ago. I typed it and saved it in my cellphone, hoping to blog about it. I don’t like to post my rants. But somehow, I can reflect on them. What if I lost my patience after I was provoked? Can I walk away with a clean conscience afterwards?

I just thanked God for the power to restrain myself at that very intense situation. Otherwise, who knows what could happen next.

Election and Mothers' Day

Election is over. I voted for my 6-5-1. Nine of them are inside the magic twelve of most unofficial tallies. I was searching for Tol Defensor’s name. I think he deserves to be in the senate.

I voted for our incumbent Mayor’s opponent, just like I did for the last two elections. He is leading and I am not complaining. I’m sure he’ll win again. So why did I vote for his opponent when Mr. Mayor is doing very well (but not according to his critics)? I hate to answer that.

** -- **

May 13 is Mothers’ Day. I sent an SMS message to my Dad as he was out-of-town with my mom. Dad sent his reply, “Mama needs your voice”. I laughed at myself. I was expecting that reply. I did try to call them but they’re out of reach. Only the text message went through. So I tried and tried again until I contacted them. Happy Mothers’ Day Mama!

May 13 is also the birthday of my late grandmother. I am sure she is very happy in Jesus’ side right now.

Friday

When I was still a student, I always think of Fridays as the end of a busy week. Thank God it’s Friday! But when I was already working, I envy those who work in the banks and in other companies because of their 5-day work week. Those in the Manila don’t have work on Saturdays. They can fully enjoy their weekends. They can leave Friday nights, and comeback early Monday morning.

Some would even enjoy Friday nights out. Not for me here. I still have to report for half-day work tomorrow. And that half day often means I’ll be in the office till 3pm. Most companies here have a 6-day work week. Why can’t congress legislate a 5-day work week nationwide? There is no end for office works. And the output would still be the same. We can even save on overheads. We also need some breaks to avoid burn-out.

What will I do on Saturdays, if ever we have no work?
1. Read books.
2. Help my wife in the household chores.
3. Go to the beach!
4. Play badminton
5. Visit families.
6. Vacation
plus a lot more…

There are plenty of others things I would like to do. I might utilize my VL credits next weekend. Ah Friday!