Monday, November 27, 2006

No Friends

Last night I was sitting at the porch of aunt’s house, playing “Cafu football” in my cellphone when my wife’s two young nephews came over to borrow my cell.

The younger one beat his older cousin in getting hold of the phone. The 6 yr-old cried foul. He complained that he was the one who asked me first. He withdrew murmuring that I was unfair. I asked him to come over. Not just once, but thrice I asked him to repeat his complaint. My reason was to delay his anger. I told him that I did not know he asked me first. I promised to let him play once his 4 yr-old cousin finished his game. He nodded.

Then it was his time to play. His smile was from ear to ear. The younger boy was fighting for a place in the seat they shared so that he can watch too. Everything went fine in the first two minutes until the older one got irked by the other one’s insistence to get hold of the phone. Little punches flew, and the smaller one cried. His father heard it and immediately scolded the older boy, and whipped his hand.

With none to protect him, he just threw a dagger look at his uncle with both lips tightly closed. He was about to withdraw again when I caught him and let him sit in the chair in front of me. I saw anger in his eyes that if given a chance, could be murderous. I once saw him push a child down at the church’s stairs. I also saw him pushing his mother out of balance at a party when he was not given attention. I am not sure of what he will do again this time.

After his uncle and his little cousin went back inside the house, he started talking to himself. “He’s not my friend. I don’t have any friends. When I grow up, I’ll ride a plane and bomb this house. I’ll destroy everybody.”

I just listened to him as he repeated his words. Then I silently prayed for the kid. I have not seen an angry child like him nor heard any other 6 yr old imagining of destroying his family. Never in my childhood had I remembered imagining bombing my own family’s house. “So, what about Amah (Fookien term for Lola)?” I finally asked him.

My question struck him at first, but then he reasoned. “I’ll let Amah fly in the plane with me and I’ll bomb this house.”

There was another moment of silence. His anger had not yet subsided. So I told him I’m going to pray to Jesus and will pray aloud for him. I touched his shoulder and asked Jesus to bless him.

Afterwards, I asked him. “Is Jesus your friend?” This time, his anger subsided. The fiery look in his beautiful brown eyes turned into innocence again.

“You know what? I only have 6 friends.” Then he mentioned names which included me, Amah, and Jesus. He happily repeated his words a few more times. The thought that he now considered six people as his friends relieved me. I know from now on I will always pray for this kid. But I wonder if he still wished to bomb their house.


Vince said...

Very inspiring, uncle :D

hope it would touch more people

francesca said...

I ve been a disciplinarian myself to my children. I would not be as impatient as you to this kid because: for me as a parent ha is to : bend a tree while its young long afterwards it cannot be done.

If it is me: I will tell him off: "hey, whats wrong with you? You think you are big enough for your shoes? Can you stand on your own now?"
But you are very diplomatic, I admire you for that.Besides its not your kids, its the parents' responsibility to discipline them.

But of course they are kids, they dont understand us adults.
unless we show some "pamalo" lol!

Lazarus said...

Madamme, I grew up not spared by the rod.
But this young kid, needs attention. His french father left him and his mom, when he was still a baby. Many times I pulled him aside when he tried to throw stones at other kids, or spit at them at close range. But he listens to me, even if there were times na pinalo ko kamay nya.

gbert said...

i always have this big problem whenever i am left with my nieces and nephew fighting... mahirap lalo na wala yung parents... di madaling pasundin sa mga sinasabi ko at ang ending minsan di rin ako sinusunod... good thing lang, not one of them made such remark, yung violence nila tolerable or controllable pa. if i were in your position siguro i already have called their parents abroad to attend to their children... it really is a hard job to become parents, i learned

sasha said...

Before anything else, uncle ka ni kuya? Pwedeng uncle na rin kita, Lazarus? hehe

Sobra, kids nowadays nurture angst that you can't even begin to imagine where it originated. Do u know that my brother, our youngest, is so full of angst? I caught an sms he sent to a friend telling her that everyone's conspiring against him when in fact we give him everything that he wants! I cried when I read it.

Do pray for this kid. I'll include him in my prayers tonight as well. Sana he'll grow up to be a great man.

God bless!

Abaniko said...

It's all you fault Lazarus! Had you not displayed your cell phone, the fighting, the scolding and the anger would never have happened. :D

chelsea said...

i know the feeling. i grew up wiv my grandma, am the only child, both parents abroad til eventually they got divorced. one may be from a broken family, but you dont have to be a product of one.

niceheart said...

Such angry thoughts from a very young child. But I'm sure he didn't mean that. He doesn't realize yet what bombing people's houses means. He's probably watching too much TV?

I knew there was a reason behind that behaviour. Abandoned by his dad pala. It's good that he has uncles like you around na parang father figure na rin. You're a good uncle. :)

Iskoo said...

i guess mga bata nag re react lang yan sa mga nakikita at paano sila i treat ng mga nakapaligid sa kanila, they are growing and absorbing yung mga experiences nila, buti nalang andyan ka to neutralize yung bad experiences niya with others, praying for him and telling him about Jesus really helps para ma balance yung bad experience nya otherwise lalaki siyang bitter at malamang kakayanin niyang magpasabog ng bahay later on. God loves little children, whatever we do to bless them i am sure the Lord will bless you also :)

Lazarus said...

gbert: it's really hard to handle children, especially the hyper ones.

Sasha: Try checking on your bros friends. They might not be a good influence.

Abaniko: Yeah, my fault. I should have given each one a celphone. :)

Chelsea: In the past, he would long for his father, but his mom would insist that his father's dead. Now, he says he hates everyone, except his amah.

Niceheart: Once a week lang kami magkikita. And minsan nag tatantrums pa sya. But I have my way of eliminating his tantrums in less than 5 minutes.

Iskoo: You're right! God loves all the little children.

Here's a thought from the Bible:
Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord." (NLT)

tin-tin said...

what you did the kid is really sweet. am glad he considered you as his friend. introduce him to some other kids. maybe they'll be his friend as well :)