Friday, November 24, 2006

The Test

I wanted to cry with her but I saved my tears. She couldn’t hold hers. “Why me?” she asked.

Why her? A prayerful woman she is and yet this simple request to pass the exam was not granted. I showed her the emailed test result last night and it was very close. She did pass in one area, and the others just near passing. But it was not enough. I wanted to console her, saying that maybe, we can go to Hongkong together while she retake the exam. She just curled herself in the bed and continued sobbing.

The days nearing her exam was very tough though. There was not enough time to review as she was busy with church activities, and taking care of her ailing aunt. And on the night before the exam, she had an asthma attack. She was coughing and sneezing on the exam day. But she felt light afterwards, confident that God will let her pass.

But now, seeing the result shattered her confidence. She woke up this morning still with red eyes. And she showed me the text message of a Kuya which she received very early, saying he prayed for her. We haven’t even told him of the news. Perhaps, God whispered to him to pray for her and send her comforting words.

I am at loss of words to soothe her right now. But I told her that God has other plans. We’ve been at this situation before, and we can overcome this one again. I was just amused at the remark of the person from their agency: “Ing-ana gyud ng mga buotan, mahagbong sa ila first take. Gi testingan gyud na sa Ginoo” (This is what usually happens to good people. They fail on their first take. God is just testing them.)


Vince said...

sorry to know that, nasayangan pud ko... maybe the question we can ask is, "What is this experience trying to tell us?" or yes, like a mother who knows best, God knows what is best for us and part of that experience is he can't just give what we want because he has something greater than what we want... would that let us break from his love? i dont think so...

francesca said...

I dont think God test his children. He doesnt have to test us because He knows and read our heart and our hopes and intentions.

some dont passed on first time as there's one bit of an improvemnt somewhere.Some passed the exams, it is a bit of a luck. But it deosnt mean one is not good. Its because its not yet the right time.

Haay, lazarus, buti na kita ko na blog mo, kasi nga lost pc ako, kaya naghahagilap ng mga co bloggers lol! Musta ke madame too!