Monday, March 27, 2006

Of death and loneliness....

My friend was cremated yesterday. I didn't know he made a long list of what to do for his wake and the services to be perfomed. Some were done, but I don't know why others took his wishes for granted.

As I struggled to listen to the Pastor's sermon, i can't help a few tears rolling down from my eyes. So young and promising, but not a lonely life. I'm sure i am gonna see him again at the House!


I'm sharing the lyrics of this song from my favorite band, Jars of clay . I guess this is also adopted from some other band.

--------- 0 ------------------
Lonely People

This is for all the lonely people
Thinkin' that life has passed them by
Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup
Ride that highway in the sky

This is for all the single people
Thinkin' that life has left them dry
Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup
You'll never know until you try

'Cause, I'm on my way, yes, I'm on my way
Yeah, I'm on my way back home

This is for all the lonely people
Thinkin' that life has passed them by
Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup
She'll never take you down or never give you up
You'll never know until you try

'Cause, I'm on my way, yes, I'm on my way
Yeah, I'm on my way back home
------------ 0 ------------------

Friday, March 24, 2006

Life is too short!

A friend of mine died last Tuesday. I almost cried while at the airport waiting for my flight to Manila. I didn't ask why coz I knew his time was already nearing. I just closed my eyes and thought of the good times we shared together. I knew that He is with God right now.

Flash back

We grew up together in the Church. I was almost two years older but 3 years ahead in school. When we were kids, we live completely different lives, and don't have anything in common. In our youth, he succeeded me as president of our youth group. There were times that we shared portions of ourselves with each other.

He told me of his crushes. I told him of only one. We joined youth camps together, and we mostly keep everything to ourselves. We agree most of the time, because as always, he is very agreeable. He even joined me in my trip to visit a girl out of town.

But, there was only one point in our lives, wherein there seems to be a little fall out between us. His long time crush, became my girlfriend, without him knowing it. Everybody knew he had a crush on her, but what they do not know is that he was also courting other girls.

Our church's circle of friends sided with him, except for the older ones. And he was also carried away. But we talked and already settled it. I told him everything and he asked for forgiveness for having a grudge on me.

Then the cancer came sometime in 1999. It started as a bleeding on his foot. Scary, they cut his left foot to prevent the cancer cells from affecting other paprts of his body. My gf (now my wife) took care of him in the hospital. We are very close friends, and there was not any thought of jealousy.

We helped him raise funds, and we thought it was the end of the cancer. But we were wrong, when last year, he was diagnosed with lung cancer at 3rd stage.

Life is short really. At 28, he could have lived long. Last Christmas, he even testified that God has many plans for him. And that he dreamt of marrying one day and of having a family. He even had more faith than us, at that point.

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So long my friend! God has other plans for you!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The lonely part....

As i was reading blogs here and there, most common topics are about boredom and loneliness.

I understand what loneliness is in a midst of a crowd.

I laughed yet I'm bored!

Ah! For me, it is no longer about lonelines and boredom, but about how we see the world in our complicated selves.

I'm picking up left-over thoughts right now. I am frustrated that this day passed without a significant contribution from me. I no longer know what hate means.

But I am frustrated at not being in control of what should have been. At the end of this day, I might be crying. But tears are also for men.

Tonight, I must face myself and my pride.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Boredom

I am not bored.

It's just i am tired of thinking about the future. Fantasy is all there is right now!

How do you see me? Happy or sad?

But i love life and i believe boredom is just temporary.