Thursday, September 11, 2008

How Can I Leave Cebu?

How can I leave Cebu? As I've said before, I'm not good at moving, and specially if I leave behind people close to my heart.

The first day of September would have been the appointed day. But I had some doubts as to the intent of this move. I too doubted my own intent, having formed so many alternative plans in my mind. This is a challenge ahead of me, I kept repeating that to myself. And I really wanted to believe that.

So I had my annual medical checkup middle of August There was a not so good news from the doctor, and I was given some prescription medicines. At 32, I should not have these cholesterol and uric acid levels. I emailed my bosses citing medical problems and buying some more time to delay my transfer. There were also other matters, both work and personal, to attend to.

They said it's fine, and were not in a hurry too. Ok, I felt relieved, but as the day nears, I really don't feel comfortable anymore.

The first time I left Cebu for a period longer than 6 months was when I was 5. I spent my first grade in a remote baranggay in Mindanao. I remembered how I missed my parents and my sisters. I cried almost every night on the first few weeks. I really wanted to quit school and return to Cebu. My wish was not granted. I stayed on and finished the first grade before moving back to Cebu.

At this time, I know that I should be ready and that Cebu is just a temporary dwelling. If I want to become a global citizen I should look beyond my hometown, and consider relocation as a normal event of existence. When asked by my friends and colleagues about my impeding transfer, I just smiled and said, "I'll be there in due time.".

A long time friend and mentor of mine said these words that pierced deep into me. "Whereever you will be, just continue to let your light shine and be a blessing to others."


fingertalks said...

hi lazarus, i sure agree with this quote "Whereever you will be, just continue to let your light shine and be a blessing to others." true..i just wrote this morning..a related post in my blog. (i barely blog nowadays due to some preghormones..sorry for not visiting often).

take care my friend.

Lazarus said...

thanks for visiting, Des!

hope everything is fine with you and your family. God bless you!

Sexy Mom said...

i hope you will be able to make a decision that you will not regret. it is always good to be within one's comfort level, but it is also good to move forward. of course the choice is yours. good luck, and super God bless.

Lazarus said...

sexy mom, in a few days, that decision will be announced. I just thank God for my friends' support.

Abaniko said...

Here's for you, buddy: Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Miki said...

guess its scary when you're doing it for the first time
and considering having a family and all
me, i'd been moving around since i was 15
and still at it, hehehe
good luck bai

Lazarus said...

abaniko, thanks for leading me to that poem. It's a reassuring one. :)

miki, thanks, bai! i have to get used to it.

zherwin said...

you may want to listen to Jose Mari Chan's "Constant Change" song, a favorite. :)

good luck.

Gypsy said...

The great thing these days is that you can always go back home, nowhere is far away anymore. I hope that wherever you move to, you will find friends or make significant friendships, this is always a balm to loneliness. And your friend is right. :)

Major Tom said...

So there's really no place like home,eh? It's just the same in my case and my beloved hometown Zamboanga. I love travelling but if it takes too long, that's when I squirm and complain. Home is like an anchor to me.

Panaderos said...

Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zones. You will end up fine wherever you go. You just need to discover that part of yourself that will make such goal a reality.

freeze said...

so what up, lazarus?

Lazarus said...

zherwin, i love that song too! :)

gypsy, indeed, everywhere's near na these days.

major tom, i'd like to go some places, but like you, i'd also like to return to a place called home.

panaderos, the comfort zone is too comfortable right now. hehe. i need some breaking out, and breaking free.

freeze, i'd like to go to the places you've travelled.

freeze said...

haha join me then! :)

when you move to manila and willing to go on landtrips, you'll go places with a small budget.