Saturday, February 03, 2007

Lovers and Friends

“Friendship is love without its wings.” - Byron

We heard stories of friends becoming lovers, and lovers turning “just friends”. We also heard stories of broken circles of friends because one started courting another from the group. Some were even labeled as opportunist, someone taking advantage of the friendship. And there are happy stories with happy endings. But there are also sad tales of relationships gone awry.

A college friend, Sonny, is very friendly and popular. He had many female friends. He was courting a few of them secretly and some openly but ended up rejected every time. We heard the ladies say “We’re better off as friends”. He simply shrugged off his failed conquest. “Yeah, they’re better off as friends”, we agreed.

John and Mila became close friends as they were seatmates in many subjects at school. He had a girlfriend back in his province, while she also had a boyfriend somewhere else. Classmates would tease them. They simply said that they’re “just friends and probably soulmates”. A couple of years after, he broke off with his girl back in the province and started courting his friend. It was not difficult for her to say no. But then, it did not end happily. She dumped him (we found out years later) after she found out he impregnated a girl from their place.

An inspired look can be seen on Rey’s eyes. He was often found conversing with a female friend in the library. She looked happy, too. Classmates would often tease them, but both would just let out a smile. “In the right time” they both say. But he was hesitant and afraid of rejection, and the possibility of losing the sweetness of their conversation as friends. There never was a chance again after they separated ways after college.

--- * ---

My wife and I knew each other since we were elementary kids. We’re friends. We have many friends in common. I was considered as a little bit aloof in the circle during our youth. Sometimes, I just come in and out of the group. But there was a time when we got a chance to know each other again. She was a graduating nursing student at that time, and I was working in an auditing firm. A second look, as I simply put it.

I heard her say in the past that she’d turn down any friend that will court her. I even discouraged one friend, because he’d been turned down many times already. I just didn’t know then, that one day, it would be me courting her.

“Do you believe in the saying that ‘friendship is love without its wings’?” was my starting line. And so the conversation revolved around that for many minutes.

At the back of my mind, I said “I am staking our friendship here for something of a higher aim. The end should be nothing short of love, and not just for ordinary friendship”. Such determination overcame my fear.

“Why don’t we add wings to our friendship?” I finally asked.


ralphT said...

what a geeky pick-up line. lol ;)

Daisy said...

i think your wife already liked you even before you made the first move.coz if not, i think she would run away with such a question...for me, hilas paminawon if coming from a guy i don't like! hehehe pangutan-a daw sha! ;)

tin-tin said...

naks! the pick-up line ha. pero congrats! coz it worked! and i agree with daisy :)

mousey said...

hay love... sabi nga nila love one another and you will be happy.

link you na.

Francesca said...

lazarus, friends comes and goes, due to some priorities of one or the other. But what i important, when one communicate with one, they are always availbale, even in a simple word Hi, hope everything is alright down there...

Your wife is your best friend.You are one lucky guy.

I always told by frenchman, never to allow anybody to go in between him and me, except God. The problems, (if arises)incouples, are to be sorted out by both, not by anybody(or third party).

Soulmates are rare, but there exists a friend that sticks like a brother , and ready to help...

Stiletto Goddess said...

you're very lucky. very.

Ferdz said...

Wow! I envy you! Becaused you risked that friendship and now it has wings. I'm too cowardly to cross that line afraid of loosing that friendship.

Beautiful post

lazarus said...

ralpht, my pick-up line was not understood at first. too geeky. he he.

Daisy, dili na hilas ang gugma sa kasingkasing nga nagkatugma. When there is already that spark, the heart can interpret the geeky, crazy, corny, or even unspoken languages of love.

tin-tin, anything can be used as a pick-up line. However good that is, if there is no spark, one has to try again.

Mousey, love makes the world go round. Keep loving!

lazarus said...

francesca, there is that boundary between friends. But there is freedom in those wings.

Stiletto goddess, yeah lucky. Kung iba pa yon, baka sinampal na ako. :)

Ferdz, some are really not willing to take the risk. If the outcome was different, I was not prepared for the next move. But I prayed for weeks before that moment.

cruise said...

i remember a book title "kiss dating goodbye". recommended ng author na mas maganda kung dumaan sa friendship muna bago tumungo sa courtship. kasi mas maganda daw yung foundation kung magkakilala ng mabuti as friends.

Daisy said...

mao lagi kay nagkatugma na man inyong kasingkasing. ay kalawom uy!mura man ko malumos hehe..

cruise: i like that book by joshua harris. a good guide to christian dating =)

jef said...

“Why don’t we add wings to our friendship?”

Wow, what a line. I might as well use that one to court a girl I know heheh!