Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Giving up on your friends...

I have a previous entry about friendship here but I just want to resurrect this topic because of something that made me rethink and ponder upon how others value friendship.

Of course, we want friends who accept us just as we are. But we oftentimes face difficulty in accepting them as they are, especially when their true colors start to show.

Who among you wants to be friends with?
1) An insensitive person
2) A backbiter
3) An oversensitive person
4) Someone who walks out and comes back as if nothing happened
5) Mean people
6) Sobrang maarte
7) Someone who doesn’t know how to repay debts
7) Or even a criminal

I guess we all carefully choose our friends. And if later we find out that they are not what we thought they are, we start to unload some of them.

A friend confided to me that he was so hurt by the words of some people from the group. Being under the same circumstances before, I told him not to mind it and just let it pass. I told him to consider it just as “spices in the friendship”, similar to LQs of lovers. You cannot quit on your friends because you felt hurt. They might not even know it, or if they were under the same situation, their reaction would be different.

I remembered these words I spoke to a very close friend: “Why should we subject our friends to a test? Should we give up on them if they fail?” I didn’t know why I said that, and I couldn’t recall the circumstance either. But I remembered the exact words I said.

What I had in mind though is God’s friendship offered to everyone. He did not give up on us, and He accepted us just as we are.

13 comments:

gbert said...

hi, bloghopped...

i have similar dilemma right now, i have this good friend way back in high school... and we get to hang out now often... the problem is, he always asks to borrow money, first, from 500 pesos then to 2000... he's a good payer though but what bothers me is every week he tries to borrow money... i have no problem lending him but i'm starting up to what good am i to him... i don't think mukha akong bumbay and live with that kind of purpose...

gbert said...

my blog: http://gbert.wordpress.com

Batang Malaya said...

indeed, the friendship that Christ offered was unconditional, and his friendship was with the people whom we tend not to befriend nowadays. How guilty I am, hahaha! Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Blog hopping here. We have the same choice of template here kaso lang u edited some. btw, i don't like those friends who are pa as if, mga pretentious bah...

Lazarus said...

Thanks for dropping by Gbert. I've been in your situation too!

Batang malaya - Christ is a friend to people we tend to despise. thanks for dropping by.

alma ritchel - thanks for dropping by. some wants to be presentable (not necessarily pretend) just to be accepted.

Francesca said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Francesca said...

i choose my friends. I dont allow them to chose me. Usually a friend is one you can count on in your downest moments not involving money, bec not all has the capacity to help.

But if all of them are the ones you listed, I keep off. I prefer to read a book than listen to their immaturity.

Michel, my frenchie always advice me: go wth those who encourage you to do good. Those who criticize you, you treat them nicely but, avoid them. They are the ones that would crush you to pieces and would even break you away from the ones you love.

Let say I cannot help much to people's emotional problems. I got enough to deal first, hehe.
And sometimes we give them advice on what to do as we are friends, they would tell me: paki mo sa buhay ko!
pahiya pa ako!
sorry double posts, hehe, i delete the first!

Francesca said...

gbert, try to say no, see how he reacts!
you will not see him anymore, with the money he owes you.

Batang Malaya said...

I strongly agree on that Lazarus! That's why I feel giulty with that sometimes, or most of the times.

Btw, Batang malaya is Vince in Retreat.wordpress.

tin-tin said...

i agree. and honestly, i'm somehow guilty of putting your friends into test

Lazarus said...

madamme francesca, thanks for your comments. There are friends who really don't appreciate our concerns, but would also complain if we just leave them alone.

batang malaya a.k.a. vince, i found it out yesterday after i posted my reply.

tin - sometimes, we get upset if friends fail our little test. We tend to be cautious afterwards if we come to know their "history".

pauL said...

TIME <-- that's the most important ingredient (for me) in a friendship...

dezphaire said...

i'd rather have a close circle of friends who i know treasure me as much as i do them. rather than having a friendster contest of acquaintances and blank faces.

do i unload my friends? i don't know. i guess it's time that does the unloading. i'm actually happy about the funneling. only the true ones stay with you.