Thursday, May 31, 2007

Where's the Eject Button?

There are times when we want some people to disappear from our lives. Be it a boss, a stubborn staff, a bully classmate, an irritating friend, a nosy neighbor, a relative, or even a fling. Where is the eject button when you need it? We might even wish they vanish with a single snap of our fingers.

God forbid though, that they disappear from the face of this earth prematurely. But somehow we wish that they migrate to another country, relocate to other provinces, get married, promoted, pirated, etc…

I grew up with a very strict uncle who lived with us. He is, in my opinion, stricter than my parents. He spanked us when we commit a mistake, or when we fail to heed his instructions. Since I am the eldest, and expected to take good care of my younger siblings, I took most of the beatings. I used to feel he was treating me unfairly. In the eyes of my neighbors, I was a very good boy, well-loved, and admired. I was the best in my class, and was still not good for him. So I prayed that he leave our house so that I can have my little freedom. He took a month long vacation one summer, and I was in my wild (obviously normal for a child) ways, playing with neighbors from morning till late afternoon, and skipping some assigned chores.

He returned. And I was meek as a lamb. Once more I prayed. He got a job somewhere in Mindanao and was stuck there for a couple of years. There was a feeling of relief inside of me. “I’d better enjoy my childhood while he’s gone”, I said to myself.

But it was temporary. He came back and lived with us again. So I thought that if he’d probably get hitched, he’d cease to live with us. He was unattached at that time. No girlfriends that we know of. Perhaps this was a difficult petition: “God give him a wife.”

It took less than a year for the prayer to be answered. I was already on my early teens then. The scolding has become scarce and he won’t spank me anymore. Perhaps, I said to myself, that this was probably a result of him being in love. After the wedding, they immediately settled in Mindanao.

I have no grudge against my uncle. I do not know what I’d become now if not for his strict ways. It was only years after that I appreciated the things he did for us. He was really an able support for my mother.

Maybe, just maybe, some people come into our lives for a purpose, however annoying they are right now. Then they disappear. A boss will leave, a friend will relocate, a colleague quits, a subordinate resigns. We might not ask nor wish (or might be in secret) for these to happen. But they do happen. Then after a while, we’ll miss them.

19 comments:

alvin said...

Life really has a weird way of showing us how important people are in our lives. My mom tells me all the time not to hesitate to say "i love you" or "thank you" to people who really matter in our lives...
I don't want to sound condescending but I'm proud of you because I know you've realized that it's time to pick up the phone and call him...

tin said...

Very nice post. :) My dad was strict before too, just like your uncle. There a time when I got home midnight from a Prom, he was raging in anger and spanked me. I didn't understand that before and I thought that he hated me, so I hated him too. But later I realized, maybe he was just worried about me, maybe he was not used to seeing me going home late, maybe he was just upset at that time. But like what you said, I do not know what I’d become now if not for his strict ways. :)

lady cess said...

read somewhere, that God puts difficult people in our lives to help us grow.

tina said...

right right. those kind of people allows us to GROW as a person. it's on the worst scenarios that you would see people's real attitude... and we all need them :)

gbert said...

when i was a child even a father wala ako coz he has to work in a different province kaya everytime we visit my uncle tuwang tuwa ako... father figures ko dati dalawa, yung boarders namin na parehong binata pa dati...

Gypsy said...

Yes, I wish too that there was an eject button we can press to make certain people disappear! But as some would say, they provide "character-building" opportunities for us..sigh!

snglguy said...

Do you know where I can buy this ejection thingy? Beacuse I really need to have one right now. And I can think of several people that would fit nicely in an ejection seat...

lazarus said...

alvin, sometimes, to some people, we don't have to actually say it.

tin, there are times when we envy our neighbors. Ba't di strict parents nila?

cess, i really agree.

lazarus said...

tina, these people can help us grow. But sometimes, they could also lead to our downfall.

gbert, it's good that you have someone to look up to.

lazarus said...

gypsy/sngl, if only we're holding the remote control. Eject them asap. he he he.

Ferdz said...

True true, people come people go. And when they go whether they made you happy or not, you'll miss them somehow on a certain degree.

Francesca said...

eject button? meron tayong lahat non. God given freedom of choices.

In a family, it consist of mother, father, children. Uncle is not part of a family. he is a RELATIVE only. And HE HAS NO RIGHT TO DISCIPLINE YOU!
nagagalet ako, Laz, kasi why your parents allow him to abuse you during your childhood!grrr!

Its the parents'responsibilities to look after their children, not lolo, lola, auntie or uncle
.
The principles of the Bible speaks about it.Deuteronomy 6:7,Epehesians 6:4? paki check na lang.
i wonder , if your parents knew about your uncle maltreating you. It goes to you until your Adulthood!
And its not eject button that would solve the problem.

mama mia.Grabeh. Saan ba siya, sarap niya kutusan!
ok, hupa na storm "francesca", hehe

SexyMom said...

all through our lives, we encounter different kinds of people, and have you noticed, these people come and go, in the end it is always us--ourselves who remain. what matters most is how we react and make the most out of any given situation.

it is also a matter of choice whether we use the eject button or not

Wil said...

I'm not really a fan of spanking, especially if it's someone other than the parent. But that's just my opinion. I don't think I would spank my kids... if I should ever have kids, that is.

but difficult people are definitely a challenge. I have a couple of difficult co-workers right now, as a matter of fact. Just have to deal with them, i suppose.

lazarus said...

ferdz, na miss ko na rin yata yung teacher na pinaka hate ko noon. he he.

francesca, parang ikaw ang galit sa uncle ko ah! he he. Seriosuly, para na rin kasi kaming expanded family eh. Mother's side, strict upbringing nila. Sa father's side, medyo di strict. Uncles and aunts (from both sides) often lived with us.

niceheart said...

I also used to live with my very strict uncle. This was when my parents separated and mama went abroad. My uncle never hit me nor my sister though. But I remember hating living at their house hanggang naglayas na nga ako.

But looking back now, I also realize that he was just being strict for my own good.

Like Wil, I'm also not a fan of spanking. I've also heard people like you who had been spanked say that they appreciate the way they were brought up. I have a strong repulsion to spanking though because I've witnessed abuse in my childhood, when my own father hit my mother. It was a very traumatic experience for me. And that's the reason why I wouldn't hit my children.

lea said...

Only my mom spanks me. And my dad. Other than that... No. But my mom tells me their other relatives is stricter to her than her own parents.

There might be a reason for that, but, yeah. I wouldn't like so much harrassment done to me either.

Nevertheless, you could realize that it was worth it. Hmm, I dunno. HAHA.

lazarus said...

niceheart, i can count the few times my dad spanked me. Mostly it's my uncle. Mama would stop him kung dudugo na. That's why I pray so hard for uncle to leave our house.

In the future, i'd probably make a special paddle for my kids. Pero baka bawal to sa US. At baka ako ang ma-eject.

Lea, thanks for the visit. Sometimes, yayas do the spanking. There are parents na sasambunutan talaga ang yaya if they lay a hand on their child. But discipline differs for each family.

Leah said...

An eject button would be really cool to have on certain days and certain people.

So true how so many different people touches our lives and we do not even realize it.

Good that in some way you've recognized your uncle's purpose.