Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Unmasked (an interview with Annamanila)

The other day I contradicted my own statement, as stated in my About Me section. “Do not ask. Just let me tell it to you.” I got the courage to ask AnnaManila (and Gypsy) to interview me. Envy did me in. Plenty in my blogroll got interviewed already.

So, here are my answers to Annamanila’s very tough interview questions.

1. What was the most exquisite thing you have ever said or did in anger or loss of temper?

Honestly, I seldom get angry. I am a very patient and level-headed person.

But I did things when I was a kid. I punched my friend who bullied me. He cried without even getting even. I also threw a stone at another bully, then taking cover. Ah! Bad me! Sometimes, when a taxi driver is overcharging, I’ll say “This is just my advance abuloy” then hurry away. After a few minutes, I say a silent prayer, regretting the foul words that I previously uttered. “Lord, Bless the taxi driver. I’m sorry I cursed him. Keep him safe. May he come to know You.”

2. If you believe that nothing happens for no reason, what do you think was the purpose of your strict uncle’s coming and going in your life. What are your leftover thoughts about him?

I am on speaking terms with my uncle. I’m sure he did not know I had a grudge against him when I was on my teens. It was more of an acceptance on my part. He taught me many things that were not within the level of my usual playmates. Chess, scrabble, boogle, guitar, etc….

As I matured, I began to dismiss grudges and all those putdowns I encountered in my childhood and early teens. Being of “melancholy” personality, I learned it’s a natural tendency for me to keep grudges and scheme reprisals. But I knew God changed me. I may remember the events, but I do not keep grudges anymore.

3. What will it take to unmask you? Tell us what you are—with all the masks removed – in one word or sentence.

A long time ago, a psychology professor mentioned about masks people wear, and games people played. A mask is not really about pretending. It is just like hiding one's true feelings. I think we all wear masks. We just smile even with our clenched fist ready to strike. We say "it's ok" even if it's not. We scheme of vengeance though congratulating the opponent. We put mysterious names as our online identity. And so on and so forth.

I think sincerity pierces invisible walls, barriers and masks. But I still am complicated in some other ways. Just accept me as I am. I am a good friend. And I look at the good side of other people, despite their angst, sarcasm and the masks they also wear.

In this blog I revealed plenty of what's going on in my heart and thoughts. I am already unmasked slowly.

4. Do you identify with the Biblical Lazarus? Why? Otherwise, how did you fancy yourself as a lazarus?

My initial idea is just about leftover foods. And then connect it with leftover thoughts. There are two Lazarus in the Bible. One is Jesus’ friend, and the other is that poor man who fed on leftovers from the rich men. The latter is a character in a parable. So I just likened myself to the one who enjoyed leftovers, not just food, but also ideas.

5. Have you ever felt burnt out in a year or so you have been blogging? How did you bounce back?

Ah burn-out! Sexy Mom once commented that I’m too young for that. I really felt like I’m stuck right now at a certain level in my career, and facing some crisscross roads. I don’t think I have fully bounced back. But I take it a step at a time. This is just one of those moments in life that I have to go through. Blogging somewhat lightens the load. Career-wise, I am anticipating exciting turns in the next few months.

------ xxx --------

I would like to thank Anna for taking the time to read some of my previous posts, and come up with the tough questions.

Do you want to be interviewed and have headaches for days? Here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


Annamanila said...

I am glad you asked to be asked. And also to have dove into yur archives to know more about you. Exquisite answers I must say. And your answers contradicted my earlier impression of you as angry, angsty and rebellious with or without cause.

I didnt know about the other Lazarus. Thank you for the interesting info.

I should have asked about leftover food ... and not the just the kind that you digest in your guts.

Your uncle and you bless each other .. do you know that.

God bless.

SexyMom said...

now i understand what lazarus and left over thoughts are all about. thanks to Annamanila, just in one candid interview, your inner thoughts have been expressed and your inner self kinda unmasked.

yes, you are still young, i do not call it burn out, though, just some kind of ennui. and in your age, you ought to have fun fun fun!

tin-tin said...

ang galing ng questions ha. oo nga noh.. lazarus din yung poor guy. and i think it's true when you said your slowly showing your true self.
sorry.. i won't say interview me. baka kse di ko masagot. hahaha :)

lady cess said...

ah.. gets ko na bakit lazarus. ang alam ko lang kasi na lazarus is the one who rose from the dead.

Leah said...

What a very insightful Q&A. I truly enjoyed reading this. Picked up a lot of good left-over thoughts...certainly way too good still to recycle.

btw, i'll link you up . Thanks

Lazarus said...

annamanila, I was not quite myself when I answered the questions. I should have put on a mask. ha ha. Again, thank you and God bless!

sexymom, i think i can agree that it's not yet a burn out. I should have fun.

Lazarus said...

tin, hanep talaga mga Qs in Annamanila. pa interview ka rin sa kanya.

Cess, parang kakatakot yung "the one who rose from the dead". he he. But it was Jesus who raised him up.

Thanks for the visit leah. Salamat din sa magandang comment.

carey said...

i don't want to have headaches for days (as you've said) so pass lang ko sa interview. :)

i do love the questions, they were kinda tough, but you handled them so well. I really thought your nick Lazarus refers to a person who rose from the dead (spiritually)...

Francesca said...

i was interviewed also laz, waaah! para palang boy abunda on the spotlight eto!
pero kakatuwa, open masks nga, haha