Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Inconsistencies Within

Some struggles. Call it whatever you like. Deep within, I know this is just an understatement. Like when we excel at one point and crash on the next. Or today I wear a suit and a cute tie, but will wear and old shirt and rugged jeans on the office the next day.

My grade 1 teacher praised me for my handwriting. But when I began to practice the long-hand at the last phase of our term, she berated me for having ruined my own handwriting. It got worst in the succeeding years. Even until now.

In grade VI, I graduated at the top of everyone else, but got the insult that bruised me for years, only because I failed to memorize the graduates’ motto during rehearsals. No, I was actually too nervous with the other class’ adviser around. Her own bet for valedictorian was only a fraction of points behind me.

In high school, I failed in science but topped the class in general info quizzes.

I almost failed to enter Accountancy because of low grades in UP High. So they let me take an IQ test. The guidance counselor assigned to interview me revealed that I got excellent scores, and had the potential of graduating summa. Summa, I wish! I think I was just fortunate to have plenty of correctly guessed answers.

In college, my essay got a rare praise from an English teacher when she lectured the 6Cs in writing. I feared the expectations that followed. The essay I submitted during the final exams obviously lacked the qualities of my first one. And she talked to me about it, her reaction showing dismay.

In auditing subjects, I have not really correctly solved any of the problems in the quizzes during undergrad. But I got almost perfect scores in the pre-board and in the actual board. That was all that mattered.

In my post last week, I enumerated ways to curb my internet addiction. Honestly, I have not really acted on it. And here I am, after not posting any entry for seven days, flooded my blog with four posts on a Sunday. I really shouldn't be here in my cubicle.


Francesca said...

laz, it shows you are a normal being.
You got flaws like everyone else.

Mind you, I got more to mention in my blog than yours, that I keep to myself.

Maybe one day... Lol

dodong flores said...

I read all of your 4 entries today. I didn't see any hit of Internet addiction in there. Fiction or not, those thoughts are a result of a writer and a thinker.
Keep on blogging, my friend. Wala lang ka kahibalo nga ang uban nimong entry can be an inspiration to read sa mga readers/visitors :)

bingskee said...

that proves that we are not perfect, but we dont tire aiming for perfection.

ha ha yun pala ang pinaka-focus ng post - blog addiction ha ha

CM said...

perhaps, you just overdid it. :D

iskoo said...

siguro bawat isa sa atin may lowlight at highlights sa buhay. pero impress ako sa mgahighlights mo ha. galing!

aryo said...

Our moments of triumph always cause the expectations to rise a hundred fold. But as everybody else said, we are but human. We are bound to fall and fail once in a while. We will all turn out to be inconsistent, but what will matter in the end is our ability to achieve even greater heights as we rise from every debacle.

Abaniko said...

Man, you should have heard of my friend who took Calculus 5 times. Hehe. You're one lucky, talented person. Cheer up!

Gypsy said...

The only consistent thing about us human beings is that we are inconsistent. :-)

annamanila said...

am not surprised you excelled in school, lazarus. and oh my, you're good in both verbal and numerical reasoning -- whatta combination. i think you can synchronize blogging with whatever youre supposed to be doing. i have, somehow. :) i think a lot of us bloggers need to blog for self expression -- about stuff we are passionate about.

Swipe said...

Accountancy... what can I say... I made the same mistake you did. I mean, I took it up just so I caould find a job immediately. I didn't know I'd get pigeonholed by it.

I think I totally went off topic there. but what the heck. :D

carey said...

there's a fine line between being addicted to blogging and blogging for the sake of self expression. sometimes, you need to blog more about the things on your mind. some find it therapeutic. if you go back to the reasons why you blog (remember the meme?), you could stay on the right track. cheers!

luiza said...

is that a good thing or a bad thing? to be addicted to the net? I can relate..

Hoppin' and enjoyed.